Published in Medium (He Didn’t Leave You. He Left Himself First. | by Dr. Ivan Edwards | Oct, 2025 | Medium)
Series Title: The Leaving
A poetic duet on emotional abandonment and accountability
This poem dismantles the myth of blame often placed on women when relationships fail. It’s a declaration of truth for those who stayed, who showed up, who held on — and were still left behind.
“You let yourself go,” he says.
No.
He let himself go.
He wasn’t steadfast.
Wasn’t devoted.
Wasn’t committed.
He let you go . . .
but first,
he let himself go.
He chose the drift.
He chose the distance.
He chose the silence
and called it circumstance.
“I have no time.”
No.
He has time to polish his car.
Time to watch the NFL games on Sundays . . .
the Bills, the Panthers.
Time to scroll, to scroll, to scroll.
But not time to water the garden
he once begged to plant.
You are worth more than chrome and touchdowns.
More than fantasy leagues and fleeting thrills.
You are not the reason he left.
He is.
“It’s because of you.”
No.
It’s because of him.
Choices are not contagious.
Excuses are not explanations.
“I found someone else.”
No . . .
he found a reason to cheat,
to break covenant,
to abandon the sacred
and call it evolution.
His Words Whisper to You
“I felt unseen.”
No.
He closed his eyes.
“There was no intimacy.”
No.
He stopped reaching.
“I had a crisis.”
No.
He had a choice.
“I needed reinvention and find myself.”
No.
He needed discipline.
“We stopped communicating.”
No.
He stopped listening.
“I gave too much.”
No.
He withheld what mattered.
“I was tired.”
No.
He was absent.
What More?
Infidelity is not a storm that sweeps in . . .
it’s a door opened,
a vow unguarded.
Culture didn’t make him leave.
Masculinity didn’t make him lie.
Freedom didn’t make him forget
what love requires.
Yes . . . mental health matters.
Yes . . . trauma distorts.
But even in the fog,
we are responsible
for the bridges we burn
and the hearts we bruise.
Final Word
So no . . .
it wasn’t you.
It was never you.
You didn’t let yourself go.
You held on.
You showed up.
You stayed the course.
And that
is love.
This poem is part of a two-part series exploring emotional abandonment and the quiet unraveling of love. Read the companion piece: Why She Left You